I really have, blog. It feels SO GOOD to be back.
First and foremost, apologies are in order for my long hiatus from maintaining my blog. I’m sorry, I suck, but I’ve not forgotten about you. I’ve got all the excuses in the world (you know me) but the main excuse is that I had been working part-time on top of doing all the usual house and mom crap I normally would do. But I grew tired of the workplace, so I’m home. And I’m so thankful that I have a choice to work or not.
So now I am home almost all the time, though I still work a couple random shifts here and there (paid-to-sleep overnights FTW). It’s been less than a week and I have managed to get a number of “spiffy up” jobs done around the house—been crocheting some couch coverlets, finished tie blankets for the couches, got some vintage glass bottles (my dad saved and collected a lot of crap like that from the earth while he worked construction, to my, now, amusement) repurposed into something fancy-looking, been sewing some cloth wipes for a friend who’s expecting, and printing, framing, and arranging our “wall of the dead”—or rather mostly dead. (It’s a section of wall in our living room dedicated to old black, white, and sepia photos of our family members. It’s a reminder to myself, “If not for all of them, there’d be no me.”)
So, when life is crazy, I like my surroundings to be my grounding. And when things calm down, I like to work on things for beautifying and simplifying my surroundings. It’s been extremely gratifying to finally get back to little things that make me happy and less stressed. For some reason, when I’m working, I come home and just feel like I can never catch up. I’m a self-professed clean freak but more than that I like to have things in rightful places and methodic. And I will ALWAYS find something wrong/that needs work. I’ve neglected the small things like arrangements and décor for last on our endeavor of becoming homeowners and it’s not so fitting since inside our living spaces is where I spend most of my time at home. I’ve also got, as probably mentioned in other posts, a shit ton of half-finished craft projects holed up in my craft room. So I’ve been pushing myself to finish up all the loose ends now that I have the time. Craft ADD is a real thing, I tell you!
Aside from getting rid of the work toxins and being home more, things are generally on the up and up. Mah man and I moved up our wedding date and even though that was stressful, it was beneficial in the long run for me to not have so much time to stew over wedding plans and get anxious about it all the time. So, while our wedding ended up being not what we had originally planned, it was a very fitting arrangement for who we are and how we like to do things—wallflowers who happen to like a little spontaneity! And we had a lot of fun. I drank the most I have since before Sylvia was conceived and it felt so good to be an idiot and not worry about fucking up another human life (Sylvia).
Speaking of, that little lady of mine is going to be a year old this month! Motherhood has been a messy trip through the twilight zone, no doubt. Most of motherhood has grown on me, as a barnacle would to a buoy. There’s been little resistance in the transition and it’s been a very natural experience. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. The only thing is I just cannot seem to accept “momnesia” or “mother amnesia”. I am no longer a skeptic of its existence and a full believer in its power! I’ve been told it’s a lot to do with the way a mother’s brain sort of refocuses its attention to priorities. I used to put a lot of priority on being on time, remembering people’s names, birthdays, etc. and I can no longer be that reliable know-it-all I used to be. It’s been a hard adjustment. But I guess this is part of the package—so I’ll sadly accept it.
Well, that’s the basic catch-up for things in my world. Sorry for the bore—I will be back to my topic-related posts and rants in no time! Thanks for sticking aro